Monday, April 16, 2007

How to end the drought

Despite meteorologists earlier this year giving us optimistic news about the end of the El Nino, Brisbane is extremely dry. Water supply dams are at about 20% capacity at the start of our dry winter season. We are meant to be in autumn, but this weekend, I saw that this week may have two days of 31 degrees. The hardware shop that I went to yesterday had sold out of greywater extension hoses, which everyone is buying to get washing machine water outside for the dying plants in their yards. One of my neighbours has lost several large palm trees, and I notice several others around the neighbourhood that are on their way out.

A lot of Australia is suffering, although it does seem that Brisbane has been in a particularly dry band this last year. Far North Queensland is fine; Sydney seems to have had many more days of rain than Brisbane.

Many people over the centuries have believed that drought is sent as a punishment from God. I don't think this is a very likely explanation, but then again there is the eerie co-incidence that Brisbane water supply has been on a downward trend ever since: THEY STARTED MAKING AUSTRALIAN BIG BROTHER HERE.

Have a look at the chart:



(There is a possible flaw in my theory in that it turns out, to my surprise, that BB has been going on since 2001. Maybe the first few seasons weren't as sleazy as those since 2004, when our combined dam levels just started sliding down the slope continuously.)

I find Big Brother the most teeth grindingly awful thing ever shown on television in my lifetime. If I were God, I would want to punish any city hosting it.

Yes, I say that to end the drought, thousands of people should go to Dreamworld and burn down the Big Brother house (just before the new series starts) on the basis that:

a. it would please God (or gods of any description), or
b. even if you don't believe such action will end the drought, it would be a service to humanity anyway, as well as making me very happy.

Get your torches ready, there is no downside to the plan as far as I can see.

(Note: apologies to Danny Katz for my borrowing his trademark use of capitalization for humorous effect. Although, in fact, this post was not meant to be entirely humourous.)

No comments: